apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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