It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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