Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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