You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
