Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
