I love watching others lives come down to our level.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Alive.
So much puke
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
