Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
