Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
