I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
