I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
time to smoke my breakfast
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize