was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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