A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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