He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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