You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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