If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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