So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
