Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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