Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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