Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
