NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
