Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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