I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
