she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
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