Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
