Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
