I swear she didn't look like that last week.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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