I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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