this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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