Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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