the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
