38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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