she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
