I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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