Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
