I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
