let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
