I'm eating all of the evidence.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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