I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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