Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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