: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
