he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I touched a dick in church today
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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