My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
