every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize