Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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