Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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