Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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