THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
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you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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