2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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