'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Randomize
