He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
