It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
