Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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