Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
