Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
