yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
