You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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