R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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