I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
