"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
