my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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