He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
